Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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