If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
