now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
