please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
