I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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