My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
