Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
