Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just invented taco cereal.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
