i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
