he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
