I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
