I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
