sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
