Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
