just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
