dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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