You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
