It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
