Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
