So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
