i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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