Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
