is your mom at the bar?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
