hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
