am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
