Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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