Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
