okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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