Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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