So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
