wat bout pragnant strippers??
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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