I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
