It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
