I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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