What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
