hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Acid is not a monday night drug
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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