Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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