Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
