I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
