perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
