letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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