I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
