she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
