I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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