brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
