im about as happy as oj after his trial
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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