Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
