my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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