the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
