I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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