I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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